The Great 90-Day Social Media Detox Experiment: The Preparation

This.

This has been coming for a long, long time.

I started thinking about cutting out social media (specifically Facebook and Instagram, but you can include others) at the end of 2023. I had hit a wall. I knew I was doing too much and I no longer wanted to give away all my time, energy, and resources to things that weren't fulfilling.

But I held off because I like staying connected with those I know, and I run a business - and everyone who's "made it" tells you that if you don't have a social media presence you'll never see growth.

Yet social media keeps changing. No more saved live video recordings. Fewer and fewer real posts by people I know (but a whole lot of advertisements). Shorter and shorter snippets. Do this before posting that way...anything to keep you on the platform.

To sell you.

Friend, I don't know what to tell you except that I am sick of being the product and tired of jumping through more and more hoops for views. That's not who I am, or who God called me to be. I might be an introvert but I care about people, about nourishing the relationships I have.

So I had been seriously contemplating giving up social media - at least for a stint - after going to a phenomenal business retreat in January, where I had almost the exact same conversation with two women I hadn't seen since my first retreat back in 2019, both of whom hadn't been there since that weekend we originally met. (The conversation I had with each gal was separate from the other, and in no way initially related to one another.) We all agreed that we weren't made to live in the hustle of that the constant social barrage and, although it can be a tool, that social media is indeed a time waster.

Still, I kept at it for a bit longer, trying out the tips I'd learned...

Then several things started to niggle at the back of my mind:

1) The connections on social media simply aren't there anymore, adding to its complexity if you do want to maintain relationships. When it launched, I resisted Facebook for months before finally taking a dive into it - and loved how fun it was to catch up on all my friends were doing while sharing my own stories. But when less than 1% of those following you are seeing anything you post (even if it is a silly update about your favorite mug breaking), or you have to search for that one person you wanted to talk with amid a sea of influencer ads...for me, it feels like social has outlived its purpose.

2) Writing has relit that passion inside my soul. I feel refreshed whenever I sit to get down some words, reminding me of the one constant that has been in my life (even though I put it aside while my children have been young). I cannot wait to see this part of my life grow again!

3) My family enjoyed an adventure in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan a few weeks ago. Our cabin had very little cell service. (Admittedly, we did have Starlink.) I noticed how little above-ground technology was visible. Yes, there were some telephone poles, transformers, and cell towers, but they were far fewer in number than anything south of Mackinac Bridge. It felt different in the UP, and I loved it. I hardly wanted to look at my phone and spent most of my time off of it. And I slept really, really well.

4) I started noticing my weekly updates on how much time I've spent on my phone. Ever since my children were young, I've made it a priority to be present as much as possible when they're around, but I have been rather alarmed that my weekly average is between 3-5 hours a day. Now, that includes anything that I do on my phone, from taking photos to using a banking app to chatting on Messenger.

By and large, social media consumes most of that time. Of the total 29 hours 32 minutes I used last week, for example, 18 hours of it was spent on social apps (this includes texting apps and the time was pretty evenly divided between these and social apps like Facebook). Last week was a heavy social week as I prepared for this detox, and that may not sound like a lot of time, but when broken down, that's more than 2.5 hours per day on social media.

Think about it: More than 4 hours per day staring at a screen from your smart phone?! Never mind the additional time spent on other devices and computers!

Right after I returned, one of the gal pals I reconnected with at that business retreat in January openly said she was going to take a social media break. Her post got me thinking about my own feel that God had been asking me to step away from social media for a while, and I decided enough was enough. I was taking that leap of faith and gave myself the start date of June 8. (As I'm writing this, I'm on Day Three.)

I also spoke with my gal pal on the phone (imagine that haha)! We got to talking and she admitted that, despite her best efforts, she still felt like she was being called to give it up (for an indeterminate time). I admitted that her post inspired me to just. do. it.

Honestly, the moment I told one of my besties I was doing this - before I spoke with my gal pal - I was terribly excited about it. I have no idea what will happen in these next 90 days, but I know they'll be full of great and marvelous things. I have read what removing social media can do for ones confidence, mental wellness, and sleep patterns, all good things!

I'm also hoping that breaking this cycle will clarify my vision and my purpose, reinvigorate my creativity, and make me far more productive that I've felt I've been in years. I mean, I think we all can say that we've been going along swimmingly when we suddenly get that urge - or the ding - to check notifications...and then we're sidetracked all over again.

What did I do to prepare?

Not as much as I'd like. Because of my clean beauty business, I spent time telling my clients about what I was going to do, and letting them know how to find me. I also admit that it worried me a little to let go of social media on account of my business, though I've had a deep sense of peace since pulling the plug and removing the apps off my phone. I don't regret doing it, though, which I think is most important, and I haven't had an itch to get back on since Sunday.

I'm still putting together a schedule, making a few goals, and trying to get over the urge to see if anyone's contacted me through text every few minutes. I'm sure that'll stop at some point as I refocus my energy on this blog, finishing two fitness certifications, and all that garden produce that's starting to emerge. And, of course, write and cultivate the relationships around me.

That's just a few things, right?!

In some ways, I do feel a bit like a ship on open, empty waters. It isn't easy to be the one going against the tide because you feel like it's the right thing to do after stalling for so many months. But I've done it and I look forward to learning the lessons in store for me.

"For I know the plans I have prepared for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

I would love to hear from you: Have you ever done a social media detox before? Why?